Tonight isn’t the night either.

I thought tomorrow would be the day, in front of everyone and his friends and peers up on that stage.

I always set myself up for disappointment.

“i love you, these words came out from your mouth like any other. you weren’t who i tough you were. i opened my heart for you told you all my secrets, all my life, everything that nobody never knew. you trashed away, you broke my heart, and i was thinking you were different. now i see who you are, the true you. i saw what you really do. and i’m tired of all the same things, all the same acts, all the same lies. you lied to me don’t you? and now you’re laughing, smiling, like nothing happen. and i’m here, crying, thinking how could you be so rude. words don’t describe what i feel. tears are my friend now, say what my words can’t express. watch me leave. watch me try. watch me forget you. you already did it. but you didn’t forget one thing… every single day, every single second, every single word i said, i cried, i felt, when i was with you. you knew i loved you. but you didn’t love me. i didn’t know it. you lied all the time”

There were two days that I had in mind that you were going to ask me the big question. One of those days has past and the other one is coming up, and I know it won’t happen then. I don’t know why I set myself up for disappointment and sadness. :/

You probably won’t go on tumblr any time soon, but I just want too say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m not the girl you want to be with anymore. I’m sorry that I don’t make you happy anymore. I’m sorry for it all. As soon as I became pregnant all our problems started. I don’t regret my daughter but that’s when the problems happened. You mean the absolute world to me and if you won’t take me back then I hope we can work together to be the best parents we can be for our little girl. You’re still my best friend, and always will be. You’re the father to my daughter and you hold the biggest piece of my heart other than her. I love you more than words can describe. I’m sorry.